


Stories and Songs

by Nigamiestmajeur_e



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Spoilers for Episode s06e19 I Am My Monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigamiestmajeur_e/pseuds/Nigamiestmajeur_e
Summary: When a young man arrives at Beach City years after the monster's incident, memories crash onto everybody's shore.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	Stories and Songs

Resting his head on his hand starts to hurt as he watches the sky, but he doesn't know what else to do. It's a long way and he isn't the type of guy who knows how to spend time in a car... if only he was old enough to drive ! It's been three hours and they're not arrived yet.

"Mom ? I'm hungry.  
\- Don't worry sweetie, we're almost there. 30 minutes left."

Bummer. He begins to regret going on vacation with his parents. Don't get him wrong, he loves his family, even his over-protecting aunts who made a fuss when his parents bought him a scooter for his 14th birthday. But he is so used to to be far from them, independent and free, living his boarding school's life with his friends, coming home only for the week-ends. The holidays are the only moments when he can be with his group without studying, but he is stuck in that car instead. He checks on his phone to see if his pals are having more fun than him and sees a text : "How's the sea ?"  
He smiles and texts back.

"I don't know, we're not arrived yet. And I already miss you.  
\- Aw babe ! Don't worry, you won't miss me anymore when you'll see the endless horizon.  
\- Even the prettiest view won't make me forget your beauty.  
\- Dork."

He laughs. It's been ten months since he is with Juanita and it's going so well, despite all those who were really surprised to see them together at the beginning. Now, everyone thinks they will still be a couple after boarding school. Even he thinks that.  
At least he hopes so.  
He doesn't know what his life will be after school, he doesn't really look forward to it after all : boarding school had never been a punishment for him, his parents sent him there so he could make his own life and he will remain forever grateful for that. He met new people, made his own choices and learnt so many things while easily having good grades. He has a gift for maths, physics and music, he is a great reader and is very curious about History, not to mention sports where his... abilities make it like a nap. Homework take time only because he does it with his group, explaining to them what they didn't understand in class. And everyone listen to him, everyone know that he has a very good level and that he doesn't get big-headed because of it.  
Everyone like to listen to him.  
That's how he realised that he wants to be a teacher.

"Here we are ! exclaims his father."  
The big sign with the name of the city on it appears and he jumps on his seat. He can see the ocean. He can see the ocean. It's the first time he can see the ocean. He never was a sea lover, he prefers to lose himself in the woods, or to hike through some mountains, or to climb enormous cliffs. While the ocean, the sea... Somehow he never felt curious about it, he never felt anything actually. Except... maybe... fear. He doesn't know why, he is not afraid of the water and can swim perfectly, but sometimes... pictures of the ocean made him feel uncomfortable. Like it wanted to swallow him alive.  
But not this picture.  
Not this time.  
Not this ocean. Not this beach. Now he is craving for it, craving for the sea, craving for walking on the sand, craving for plunging into the waves, craving for floating in the middle of the salt water like tears surrounding him. He bites his lips.

"Gosh, it's gorgeous, says his mom."  
The young man stops staring at the endless horizon and watches the town where he is going to spend the next two weeks. It is a pretty town, but tiny, like, really small. He could compass the city in less than one hour by foot ! How is he supposed to not get bored in a town as little as this one ? Why did he accept... Oh yeah... Two reasons. And the first one is because it is known to be the place where Sadie Miller's career started. He loves Sadie's songs, he feels connected to them, the happy ones, the fun ones, the sad ones... He loves "Just Say When" for example. And... he thinks that if he goes where she found her inspiration maybe... maybe he will find something too.

Here, in Beach City.

* * *

This town is named well, he thinks when the car finally drives on the Chestnut Road. It's literally surrounded by beach. Surrounded by the ocean which is calling him. Surrounded...

"I want to dive headfirst ! says his mom.  
\- Okay !"

His father stops right next to the Beach City Visitor Center, in front of the sea.

"I'll take the keys for our rent, you both can jump into the sea or buy something to eat !  
\- Thank you my love, says his mom, kissing her husband. You're coming, Noah ?"

The young man puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans and gets out of the car to follow his mother. They arrive quickly at the beach and she giggles as she takes her dress off, revealing a swimsuit underneath, and runs into the water.  
Suddenly, Noah doesn't want to plunge into the waves anymore, well, mostly he doesn't want to take his shirt off. Not already. He captures his crazy mom swimming in the middle of a deserted paradise. Why is nobody here to enjoy the nice weather ? Even he is hot under his brown shirt, a cotton short-sleeve shirt, and he would take it off... not already. He would have some explanations to do and he is too tired right now.  
Not like his mom.

Gosh, nobody can guess, seeing them, that they are mother and son. She is tall, thin, graceful like a prima ballerina, her body as white as porcelain but with so many freckles, it looks like a rain of sepia stars on an ocean of milk. And with her long and curly ginger hair as foam, crashing to her hips. Her eyes are as green as leaves in summer. His father, on the other hand, is completely different. His skin has this golden shade, his slanting eyes with iris as grey as silver. His brown hair are straight, often pulled back into a ponytail, but not as long as his wife's. He is also smaller than his wife, but strong and fierce. They are both beautiful in their own way, they would make the most beautiful children... if only they could.

Noah knows. He has always known.

He doesn't look like them after all : his skin has no freckles and isn't even tanned a little, his eyes are brown and his hair is curlier than his mom's and darker than his dad's. So yeah, he knows he is adopted, and his parents never hid it from him. Apparently, there was a very big accident and both his biological parents died.  
Noah almost died too.

"Come on, Noah ! The water is great !  
\- I'll pass !  
\- Then watch over my stuff for me ! Thanks !"

Noah hears the sound of the sand under his sneakers before he sits next to his mom's dress and bag. He decides to take another picture of his mom, of her bright smile, of her shining self. His parents never hides something from him. This is a quality they have that he cherishes, that's why he tries to not hide something from them too even if he is growing up and it's getting more and more difficult. So when his mother saw that he didn't want to swim with her, she completely got why. She doesn't need someone to keep an eye on her bag, she just wants to make sure her son is okay with their holiday location. He smiles back at her and she puts her head underwater to make some breaststroke with all the grace she has.

Meanwhile, Noah takes a selfie for Juanita. He is quite happy of his new haircut, shaved sides and back and all fluffy on the top with hair-tips red as poppies. Bleaching his black hair wasn't the easiest thing but he really wanted to put some colours on it. He is so jealous of his mom's bright hair.

"If you're really bored, she says while spreading her towel on the sand, you can visit the town. Your father is probably going to unpack everything for the next hour so you have some time before checking your room.  
\- How will I know where we sleep ?"

Then, she shows him a building, right at the top of the hill, at the edge of the town.  
Noah stares at the building, then at his mom.  
Then at the building.  
Then at his mom.

"We're going to live in a LIGHTHOUSE ????  
\- I know ! It's so cool, right ? They restored it few years ago and now they rent it for vacations ! Imagine the view we'll have of the ocean, every sunset and every dawn... And there is no way you can be lost."  
"Don't be so sure about that, he thinks."

* * *

But instead of saying what he thinks, he kisses his mom on the cheek and goes to the stores next the beach, and discovers an arcade. Before going to eat something, he needs to check if his favourite game is there so he doesn't have his hopes too high.

"Road Killer, Race Rush, Skee Ball, Punch Buddy, Whaker Man Junior, Attack the Light, Zone of Adventure... man this place has a lot of games ! They even have a G.U.Y.S. distributor !"

Maybe he will not be bored in this small town after all. Then, he sees it : DANCE DANCE MANIA!! And someone is already playing so that means it works !

"Cool ! he can't help but exclaims."

The short someone stops playing and turns around to watch Noah. It's... a child ? A gnome ? He is very pale with very big eyes and has a strange haircut. And he keeps staring at Noah.

"Um... sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you."

The boy opens his mouth a little, like he is about to say something, and Noah doesn't know why but it feels... weird. Before he can say anything, the young man waves goodbye and gets out of the arcade. He is not going to draw the attention on his first day. He will just... eat something, not fries, not pizza, just a snack, he will eat a donut like everyone else, like a normal person, and then he will unpack his bag in the lighthouse. Yep, like a normal person. He enters the donut shop who looks like a normal donut shop, except... the GIANT poster of Sadie Miller on one of the wall ! There also are a shirt with the old violet design hanging and an autographed photo of the singer. It was the donut shop where Sadie worked before becoming famous.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh don't freak out don't be a child don't..."

But there is a donut named Sadie Killer and of course he is going to buy and eat one, whatever is inside.

"Welcome, dear customer ! How can I..."

The cashier can't finish his sentence when he sees the young man. He is a short and thin man, a little bald with grey hair on the sides, big nose and sad, sad eyes. Noah wonders if he is going to cry.

"Are you okay, sir ?  
\- Um ? Oh, sorry, he laughs. It's just... you remind me of someone I knew. So ! What do you want ?  
\- A Sadie Killer, please.  
\- Big fan ?  
\- A... a little, says Noah but he is blushing.  
\- haha, don't worry. You're not the first to come here ! Hoping she will pass by. But it's been a while since she spent some time in Beach City. Everyone miss her.  
\- You know her ? Did you work with her ?  
\- No, I didn't work with her. I stood in for her, actually ! But yes, I know her. I know almost everyone in this town. I even was the mayor."

He gives the donut and the change. He watches at Noah and his sad expression comes again.

"It was a long time ago. Anyway, you're new here ?  
\- I'm just here for the holidays.  
\- Well, I hope you will like it here. We have an amusement park in the north of the city, you should check it out !  
\- Thanks ! See you next time !"

The man... the former mayor ???... says goodbye and Noah eats his donut towards the Visitor Center to have a map of the town. He didn't see the amusement park when they arrived, he was too focused on the small town... and the beach... and the sea...  
His mom is still here, a parasol next to her to protect her fragile skin. She seems to be in her element, here, on the beach, on this town, on this country... on this planet Earth.  
Like a normal person.  
She seems to belong.  
To be there, not caring about what other people think, not caring if she is making a mistake or not, not feeling like the universe is on her shoulders, like she has to think about everything, like everything she does have a repercussion, like she is living in the future and not in the present and that nobody understand her and why does she feel like that nothing happened to her why would she ever want that something happens to her she had such a great childhood but she feels like she could be so much more and she is scared she could be bad she could be a bad person why doesn't she feel satisfied just one day one night one place and...

The taste of the donut keeps Noah away from his thoughts. It's spicy, green on top and red inside, and it tastes like strawberry, gosh he loves strawberry.

* * *

After the fries shop, Noah can see a park full of trees and decides, instead of running directly to the funfair, to go at the city center with its houses, its buildings, its parkings, its traffic lights, its... familiar. He turns and he knows where he is. He turns again and he recognises everything. He doesn't actually need a map to find his way. It's so familiar. Why. WHY.  
He never felt that way before and he makes him so... empty.  
Like something is missing. Oh no. That feeling, however...  
An old pain aches in his chest, and Noah wants to scream.  
There is nothing but buildings here and he is going to spend some times here with nothing but the buildings and the ocean. Nothing to do. Nothing to fix. And no one to help. He hates it. He hates being on vacation. He hates doing nothing. He hates being alone with himself. He hates being alone. He hates that feeling to have no purpose.

No purpose. No. That's not right. Nobody is born with a purpose, Noah knows that. Of course he knows that. That's logical but... but right now he isn't logic, deep down inside him there is that call to help. That call that he noticed the first time he made homework with his friends. How happy he is when they find a solution thanks to him, but also how hollow he can be every time their little meeting is cancelled. Like he is starved. At home, he cooks, does the dishes, cleans every rooms but mostly takes care of the garden. And he babysits for his neighbours, and he mows the lawn for his elders, and he picks up the trash for the environment.  
He can't help but help.

Even his girlfriend, Juanita. He didn't start to date her because he had a crush on her. She was single, she was sad about it, and Noah can't bear to see someone sad. He doesn't care what he would have to give up to make someone less sad. And who knows, maybe one day he will really fall in love with her, eventually.  
If he doesn't go crazy first, lost but not really lost in the middle of a town he seems to know while never being there. It's like going back to his childhood home : everything is the same, but everything changed. How does he know that everything changed ? Help. He needs help. No. He is the one who is supposed to help. Why does he feel that way ? It's not like he has the powers to save the world. Well, kind of. Maybe he feels grateful to the universe for being alive, even though the universe has nothing to do with it. The aliens do. The aliens.

Little Homeworld.

The second reason why Noah wanted to come here. Maybe he can go there. Maybe he will find them. Maybe he will thank them. Maybe he will be free of that burden. Aliens aren't a weird subject anymore, there has been evidences of their passage on Earth since millenniums but they are included in society for few years now.  
Aliens towns are growing all around the globe and it's not rare to see a colourful anthropomorphic being in a big city. Still, Noah doesn't know how to react to alien stuff. To his alien stuff. He walks towards the exit of the village, trying to not think about... about everything. He could run, he runs fast, very fast, he would arrive quickly, and go back to the lighthouse before sundown, go back to a normal life, with his normal things, he could forget about all of that, and enjoy his human vacations. With other humans. The other humans who, he sees it now, watch him closely. Some are trying to be discrete, others have the same sad expression the man in the donut shop had.  
What the heck is going on.

He speeds up, but a normal speed, he can see the strange mill, west of the city.

* * *

At the gates of the town, his unsettling feeling doesn't disappear, it's even worse. He knows this place. He built this place.

"No, it's impossible. This place was finished before I was born."

How does he know that ? Why does he know that ? He learnt there was an alien town next to Beach City when he did some researches about this place to be sure if he wanted to go there. But now, it seems like a bad idea. He shouldn't be there.

"Can I help you ?"

Noah turns around and sees... an extra-terrestrial. He is sure she is one of them because of her green skin and the triangular chrysolite on her forehead. Her yellow hair is also shaped like a triangle, but her yellow glasses are round, highlighting the curiosity in her eyes. She wears a black top and a yellow shirt with white stripes while her feet are bare on the concrete. Familiar, but not too familiar. Familiar, like someone he used to know. No...

"Can I help you ?" Her question reverberates in Noah's head, and then he remembers why he came here. Maybe it's the same reason why he feels like he was there before. Yeah, that could be it. Please, it has to be it.

"Yes ! screams Noah. Sorry I... I didn't mean to scare you. I'm here because I wanted to know if there was an accident, involving a human baby.  
\- When ?  
\- 15 years ago.  
\- Oh, it was before I started to exist. Sounds logic. I haven't seen an accident here since..."

She puts her hand on her chin, thinking.

"Well actually I've never seen an accident here. You should ask Bismuth, she has been here longer than I have. Follow me !"

She takes his hand, her tiny green fingers grabbing his palm, and he feels safe somehow. She is a little smaller than him, but it seems to Noah that she is his equal.  
That she can understand him.  
And Noah doesn't take the time to find it weird. He doesn't even take the time to realise the aliens gazes at him until he arrives in front of a building with ringing sounds in it, and he hears the green person shouting behind him : "Yes ! It's a human ! Deal with it !".  
And then she mumbles : "You clod."  
Noah's heart twists but before he could ask himself why, she pushes him in the building and he looks at the most magnificent being he has ever seen. She is tall, large, dreadlocks like rainbow and dark eyes.  
Also, there is a hammer in her hand.

"Hello... um... hi... sorry I didn't want to interrupt... I'm... I'm Mr. and Mrs. Zliccals' son and I'm... Does this name sound familiar to you ? They aren't my parents... My real parents I mean... I mean I love them but I need to know... All I know is that my real parents died in an accident and I was badly injured and an alien..."

No, that word seems wrong. He is an alien for them after all. Noah bites his tongue. He learnt somewhere how they call themselves.

"A gem, he says, a gem healed me and I want to know... Was it here ? Was she one of you ?"

He doesn't want to also say that, whatever that gem did to save him, it has some side effects. Not that he complains, he rather have that than being dead, and he doesn't really care if weird things happen to him. Like his speed, his strength, his floating... How every time he kisses a wound, that wound disappears.

"Bismuth ! I need your help to repair my ring. Peri accidentally put it in her machine and it's..."

A blue gem enters what, Noah gets it, is a forge and she freezes when she sees him. She is pretty, with a white flower on her hair, a short blue shirt and blue pants, yellow sandals, and long golden necklaces, golden rings... She looks like a princess. A princess who just saw a ghost.

"What...  
\- Um... Lapis, says the strong gem with a soft voice, let me present you... sorry what's your name again ?  
\- Noah."

Lapis flinches, like he was wrong, like he didn't give the right answer.

"He seems a little lost, continues Bismuth. I will bring him back to Beach City.  
\- I'm not lost."

Except that he is. He feels lost in his own life. Today more than ever.

"I just... I just want to know.  
\- What do you think happened ? says the rainbow gem. How do you think that gem saved you ?  
\- Well, you are way more advanced than us, humans. I think she put something in me that works like a... like a pacemaker. I actually felt it like a prosthesis, you know. Something not human that makes me complete, even though I'm still human with or without it. But it's something that keeps the body alive.  
\- Something like this ?"

She shows the squared hole on her chest, a hole that is... made of crystals ? Noah never saw something like this, shining like this. But gets it, little by little. A crystal, a rock, a gem.  
Mechanically, he puts his hand on his belly, they can't see IT thanks to his cotton shirt but this is where IT is.  
That something that saved him.  
That something that he can't remove.  
That something that connects him with them.

"Yes, something like this.  
\- Listen buddy, she sighs, this, this is not something that keeps our body alive. It's not just a part of us that we can replace. This, this is us."

The reality strikes him like a knife in his heart. Why he wanted to call them "aliens" and not "gems". Why he...

"You mean that a gem gave up her life to save me ?  
\- I can't, says the blue gem. I can't take it anymore."

She leaves the building running, tears on her eyes. Oh no. No no no no no no...

"I'm... I'm sorry...  
\- Don't, grumbles Bismuth.  
\- So... I'm right ? It was here. And that gem, she... Why ? And why me ?  
\- Listen. This has nothing to do with you, it's actually way more complicated than that. So stop trying to find what happened and just... seize it. Enjoy your life. Don't get stuck in the past."

She then gently pushes him out of the forge with a smile that warms him like the sun before putting her hands on her hips, expecting him to go away, to move forward, to forget the past behind him.  
He wishes he can.

* * *

Back to Beach City, he is not hungry anymore. He is not excited to play anymore. Even the outline of the amusement park doesn't give him a pinch of a smile. Everything looks like an abandoned piece of himself like a garden he forgot to take care of.  
He can't. He simply can't.  
He will ask his parents if he can go back to their home, maybe by train, to spend his holidays with his girlfriend.

Juanita. Juanita Juanita Juanita. Single, sad, superficial, mean Juanita. Who started to date him because he is popular and he knew it but he let her toy him anyway he will be hers anyway she needed him anyway it's so easier to do as told and she helped him and he helped her and she became less mean and she became better and he changed her mind and she fell in love with him so he stayed with her Juanita Juanita Juanita Juanita Juanita oh I need her Juanita Juanita JUANITA. Maybe she can teach him how to be human again. How to not feel the ghosts and ghouls wrapping his head since he is a child anymore. He crosses the town thinking about Juanita's eyes, Juanita's hair, Juanita's lips, he forgets about the aliens, about everything surrounding him, he runs across Sussex Road and he doesn't know why but he turns left and then... and then... he is at the foot of the hill.  
There is a car wash.  
A man gets out of the car wash.  
He is not very tall but he is large, his skin red and his eyes brown.  
And his hair... long and grey just like his beard.

"He looks like me. He looks like me."

The man watches Noah, and smiles and waves at him and suddenly Noah wants to eat a hot-dog. He has been a vegetarian for five years and he wants to eat a hot-dog. He also wants to cry. He wants to cry until he is surrounded by an ocean of tears.  
The ocean.  
The ocean.  
THE OCEAN.

He runs, he runs fast, not like a human, he doesn't care, he is too scared, he runs around the hill, he runs past an old house, he doesn't want to look at the house, and he doesn't, he doesn't want to think about it, he just wants the ocean, only the ocean, he runs. His feet feel too heavy, too tight in those sneakers, his favourite sneakers, he tosses them while running, leaving them behind, his socks too, he is bare feet, he feels the sand between his toes and it's familiar, it's familiar, IT'S FAMILIAR.  
He feels the waves under his ankles, under his knees, under his hips. His belly. It's too tight, it's so tight he can't breathe, IT can't breathe, he tosses away his shirt, sends it on the beach with his strength... or is it ITS strength ? The waves on his belly, on his neck, on his face.  
And he is underwater.

He is floating and he is drowning at the same time. Only a gentle beam keeps him out of the darkness. A pink beam. A gem glow. Subito, two big hands catch him by the arms and lift him, out of the water, out of the ocean, out of the darkness.

"Oh my gosh Noah ! Are you okay ?"

Noah looks up and sees his dad, his dad, his pretty dad, with his brown hair and silver eyes. A lot of people are with him, some he saw in town, and the little guy from the arcade, and also the car wash man with a small being, purple, exhaustion and sadness on her face.

"Dad ? says Noah while reaching for Mr. Zliccals and he does notice how the car wash man flinches.  
\- I saw you from the lighthouse, running like a desperate... I don't know what happened but don't worry. I'm here now. I'm here."

Noah hugs his father and sees behind his shoulder the one who lifted him. She is tall, and beautiful... and she is shaking. Maybe she is crying but Noah can't tell with her glasses matching her squared hair.  
He can't tell how it seems familiar to her too, he can't tell how everyone is feeling right now with him in the middle of the ocean, he can't tell and he doesn't care.  
He only cares about his dad.  
His dad. His dad is relieved. His dad. His dad. His only dad. There are people around him but Noah only wants to see his dad, everyone, everything else is wrong, wrong, wrong. Only his dad matters. And his mom. His beautiful mom. He has a mom. So who cares about everything else ? About everyone else ? Noah wants them to disappear, he wants to forget these sad eyes.

He doesn't know that those eyes watch him while memories crash onto their shores.

Memories of a giant monster. Memories of a shared hug. Memories of pink tears. Memories of the creature healing, shrinking, changing back... back... back... way back... too back. A teen, a child, a baby... a newborn. A new being. A new chance to live a normal life. Everyone remembers the kid who is no more, while looking at the kid who doesn't know who he is. Looking at his belly. His belly. With a gem on it. A pink gem.

A rose quartz.

**Author's Note:**

> "I can fix anything."  
> And Steven thought he was the one who had to fix himself. Then someone entirely new was born.
> 
> Let me present you Noah, a young being from my alternate end of Steven Universe that I call Reincarnation!AU. I hope you will be nice to him.  
> Because he needs you.


End file.
